When I first began speaking and writing about love (over a decade ago), some people felt compelled to warn me not to use that word in a professional setting.

They cautioned that it would close doors, make people uncomfortable, or keep me from being taken seriously. They told me it was a bad idea to talk about Love.

You may believe deeply in caring for your team — and still feel unsure about the language that’s supposed to go with it.

Maybe “love” feels too personal. Too loaded. Too risky for your culture, your role, or your organization.

If you are leading a team or an organization right now, chances are this tension feels familiar…

 You deeply care about your people. You want a workplace where folks feel respected, safe, and motivated to do good work. These are really important to you. And, at the same time, you want to see real results. To get those, you and your team have deadlines. You need to produce quality and to satisfy customers. Those are all crucial to you, too. 

Everyone in the class was very still, listening intently as I shared a “love story” from my research. I’ve shared Cindy’s* story all over the world to demonstrate the life-changing impact a Loving Leader can have. Maybe you’ve heard me tell this too. (*Note: Cindy isn’t her real name.)

I've had the joy of being one of a few external people to teach in the Capstone program for about a decade. I teach on the essential ingredients for Love-Centered Leadership and the recipe for a more Human Workplace.

On this night, the stage was illuminated with teal green and dusky grey, sparkling with golden starlight. Two empty chairs sat companionably near each other. The room filled as folks gathered for the final Tacoma Reads Author Event of 2025.

Collective care makes a real difference. We've discovered that problem-solving is richer with multiple generations and perspectives, different talents and experiences. What happens is almost always better together than anyone can create alone.

This year, I made a decision: No more Q&A from the stage! It's not that I don't love answering questions about Love; I do! I just know there's a better way. 

My four-year-old granddaughter, Capri, snuggled up in a little nest of blankets and pillows in my office, sleepy after dental surgery. Her mom needed to run an errand. I put on a Spotify lullaby playlist while she rested. First, Julie Andrews sang, “Stay Awake” from Mary Poppins. Billy Joel sang, “Goodnight, My Angel”. Then I recognized Mr. Roger’s voice singing, “Many Ways to Say I Love You.”

I've held a poem close for weeks and was thinking of sharing it today. It hung in my poem box out by the street all summer long. Now the faded copy sits on my art table, waiting. I read it now and then, recognizing in its fresh phrases the familiar, compelling challenge. I think, “Oh, that's so good!”

I've just arrived in New Mexico to celebrate two milestones: the 50th anniversary of my alma mater, Pepperdine University’s Master of Science in Organization Development program, and my own 20-year reunion. Being here with classmates and other alums brings back memories of how much courage it took to invest in myself all those years ago, and how profoundly that investment shaped my life.

I love what happens when people come together in joyful, dedicated collaboration - think flash mobs, theater productions, marching bands, big celebrations, and yes, sports victories too. We’re still buzzing from one of those victories…

In my research and teaching, I've learned that respect is a complicated term that we use in different ways. Sorting through this complexity can help make sense of what we see and feel, and keep us grounded in our human values. 

Things are getting real here at the multi-generational Smith Bilbao house!

Let me tell you why: Life with my husband, son, daughter-in-law, and their three kids (4, 10, and 15) is serving up daily lessons in self-awareness, emotional maturity, and Loving Leadership…for Grandma (me)!

Standing on stage, I could feel the connection with the audience as I delivered my final line, hand on my heart, uplifting and affirming them as Loving Leaders. A short pause floated in the air, and then – applause. I smiled and nodded in acknowledgement and turned to step off the stage. I could feel the fuzzy buzz of adrenaline in my body.

The question in the Q&A box carried frustration and weariness: “What can I do about the need to constantly translate fearful messages from leaders into more loving and human language? It’s exhausting.”

Is there only one way to lead? With a hard heart to get the job done?

Not really, shares Renee Smith in this article.

My 60th birthday is here. It is a time for bold reflection, and to renew my vows to Love.