Most people, when they hear the word fear, picture something dramatic. A toxic boss screaming across the room. A hostile workplace investigation. Someone in tears at their desk. And yes, sometimes that’s what fear looks like. But fear can also be…Subtler. Even quiet. Easier to miss — or explain away.

Maria had a bold idea for a new offer for her business. She was initially really excited about it. But before she shared it with a single person, she took a beat, listened to THAT voice (you know the one), and then…softened the language, diffused the features, hedged the promise, and lowered the price point.

Their pattern was familiar: make assignments, set deadlines, send emails that get lost, miss deadlines, reset deadlines, repeat. No wonder trust was low.

 What would Love do? Love would get operational.

Some leaders and organizations do not need convincing that Love belongs at work. For this group, Love was already at the center. They already build trust through dignity and respect. They support one another through hardship, collaborate, encourage learning, communicate openly, and celebrate.

This morning, as I prepared to check in with my book-writing coach, Conni, I was like a deflated balloon. I’d hardly written anything all week. Words? What words? Does my brain even work anymore? I dunno. It feels doubtful. I stared dully at the screen.

"Are love and fear the only options?" a colleague once asked me. It was 2017, and I had begun teaching leaders about moving from fear-based to love-based workplaces.  "Could there be a third option?" he wondered. “Something neutral, like indifference?”

When I first began speaking and writing about love (over a decade ago), some people felt compelled to warn me not to use that word in a professional setting.

They cautioned that it would close doors, make people uncomfortable, or keep me from being taken seriously. They told me it was a bad idea to talk about Love.

You may believe deeply in caring for your team — and still feel unsure about the language that’s supposed to go with it.

Maybe “love” feels too personal. Too loaded. Too risky for your culture, your role, or your organization.

If you are leading a team or an organization right now, chances are this tension feels familiar…

 You deeply care about your people. You want a workplace where folks feel respected, safe, and motivated to do good work. These are really important to you. And, at the same time, you want to see real results. To get those, you and your team have deadlines. You need to produce quality and to satisfy customers. Those are all crucial to you, too. 

Everyone in the class was very still, listening intently as I shared a “love story” from my research. I’ve shared Cindy’s* story all over the world to demonstrate the life-changing impact a Loving Leader can have. Maybe you’ve heard me tell this too. (*Note: Cindy isn’t her real name.)

I've had the joy of being one of a few external people to teach in the Capstone program for about a decade. I teach on the essential ingredients for Love-Centered Leadership and the recipe for a more Human Workplace.

On this night, the stage was illuminated with teal green and dusky grey, sparkling with golden starlight. Two empty chairs sat companionably near each other. The room filled as folks gathered for the final Tacoma Reads Author Event of 2025.