Code for “I Care, I See, I Appreciate”

“I’m constantly worried that I’ll be misunderstood,” she said.

“I start every day with 300 new emails in my inbox, each an important issue or question. I need to be concise if I want to respond promptly. I simply don’t have the capacity to elaborate. But I fear my ‘tone’ will seem abrupt, or that people will think I’m being cold or terse, or worse.”

This senior executive cares deeply about her team members and constituents. The pressures they face are immense, but her human limits are real.

Can you relate?

Emotions run high, but so does the volume of emails. You work hard to get through everything, honoring questions and needs, while also finding time for lunch or a quick break.

When it comes to your team members, like this executive I’m working with, there’s so much you want to express... That you’re grateful for them... You see their hard work... You’re impressed by them... You’re in it with them... You believe in them... and more.

But when there’s no time, what can you do?

Here’s an idea I shared with this leader. She loved it and ran with it. Maybe it will help you too.

What’s a code for I care, I see, I appreciate, I believe in you?

At your next team meeting, honestly share the dilemma. Ask if others feel the same: Overwhelmed by emails but worried team members might feel unseen and unappreciated.

Express your support, pride, care, commitment, goodwill, and appreciation for your team. Invite (but don't require) them to share theirs if they wish. Write it all on a flip chart. Use this time to remind each other of your mutual support and commitment.

Then, reflect together on:

- What words stand out?

- Does this remind you of anything uplifting in the physical world? (Chocolate chip cookies, dahlias, an island, or ???)

- If you could express your affirming words from Step 1 in a word or phrase, what would it be? List these.

- See what emerges and resonates.

Suggest this: “During this time of high pressure, when we can’t always say everything we want to in support of each other, one of these words or phrases could mean everything we’ve expressed today."

“For now, while we’re moving quickly, what if we use these as codes for all the support and appreciation we hold for each other? What do you think?”

If it doesn't resonate, forget it! It might not work. But if it does, great. Use this shorthand temporarily.

Not forever, just for now.

In the long run, using a Code Word or Phrase can’t replace meaningful conversations or personal expressions. That’s not the goal! But during intense periods, this can help team members feel seen, valued, uplifted, and connected — in other words, loved.

Let me know!

If you try this with your team, tell me how it goes, what words you choose, and how your team responds.

And feel free to reply and share your leadership challenges. I'll explore ways to support you in a future email or on the Love Lead Change podcast.