Do I Have to Use the Word LOVE?

You may believe deeply in caring for your team — and still feel unsure about the language that’s supposed to go with it.

Maybe “love” feels too personal.

Too loaded. Too risky for your culture, your role, or your organization.

If you’ve ever thought, “I agree with the intention… but I don’t know if I can say that word,” you’re not alone.

A leader said almost exactly this to me after a conference talk. They believed in leading with care. They wanted their team to feel safe, valued, and supported. And then they asked, quietly but honestly:

“Do I have to use the word love?”

Here’s what I told them — and what I want you to hear too:

What matters most isn’t the word you choose. It’s the experience your people have.

You don’t need to change your language. You don’t need to force a word that doesn’t fit your culture. What does matter is that your actions consistently create safety, trust, and belonging — because those are the conditions where people can contribute fully and find meaning in their work.

Love is the value I name. But the practice shows up in many forms.

Some leaders and teams choose different words — care, respect, dignity, humanity — and build shared meaning around them with their teams. Others discover that the word “love” feels more possible than they expected.

Both paths can be deeply effective.

The question isn’t whether you say the word. It’s whether your people feel it.

What language best fits your leadership and culture?