Lazy in My Loving: A Hard But Helpful Truth

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I spent time with a close friend this week. She’s hiked through the shadows with me, picking our way through the tangles of life. And we’ve danced in the light together, too.

She has lived life, deepened by challenges and been shaped by scars; I trust her heart and wisdom. When she celebrates with me, it’s authentic. And, when she challenges me, well, I know I should pay attention.

Coming home from an event, we were catching up as we pulled up to my house. 

I was describing a situation that left a wound; I was grieved, holding on and nursing that wrong, feeling frustrated and justified in my hurt.

She put the car in park, turned to me, and said, “This doesn’t sound like you.”

She said, “You know they aren’t capable of doing anything else, right? You know you need to let go, and just love them as they are?”

Tears immediately welled up, and my throat gave that squeezy feeling that happens when “A Thing” is named, one of those important truths I need to hear.

Yes, I knew. But on my own, I wasn’t listening to THAT knowing. I needed someone to remind me. She did. And I realized I’d become lazy in my loving.

I was choosing to let this wound fester, and it was ugly. “Fester” literally means to become full of infection and pus, like a sore that doesn’t heal and gets worse. Yuck. And accurate. 

I hugged and thanked her, grateful for her friendship and honesty.

I knew what I needed to do. I took time to release, allow, and send lovingkindness to the person I was festering over. 

By reflecting the truth without judgment, my friend helped me reset my heart and take healing steps. She made all the difference.

The beauty and importance of such trusting relationships show up between friends, with colleagues, with leaders I coach, and among the members of our Loving Leaders Circle Community, too. I marvel at what we can be to each other.

Such supportive relationships help us stop festering and start healing. These relationships challenge us and honor our progress, too. They help us remember to celebrate the joy of wholeness and growth. Isn't it marvelous that we can do that for each other?!

Who helps you to be the more loving version of yourself, who reflects the truth without judgment, and celebrates your wins? Considering sending them a note today to thank them!

Would it be helpful to add a Community of support to help you to be the loving human and leader you aspire to be?

If so, learn more here about my Lead with Love Foundation Series and Community Circle.

In this 12-week series, you'll bring your true self and dig into your most pressing questions each week in the Loving Leaders Circle, AND you engage in step-by-step email-based learning to create a foundation for clarity and confidence in your Loving Leadership practice.

You don’t have to go alone. We can go together!