Leading with Empathy

Empathy In Pursuit of Well Being

Over the last few months I have been writing a new workshop on “Empathy” and what this means to me, to the people around me, to the work environment, our community, and the world. This has required me to conduct research, vet my resources, and consider a variety of points of view. During my research, I stumbled upon the book Leading with Empathy: Understanding the Needs of Today's Workforce by Gautham Pallapa, the founder of Transformity. He talks about how the world has undergone an unprecedented amount of adversity in the last few years.

There has been an overabundance of hurricanes, tornadoes, riots, wildfires, economic challenges, and even a global pandemic, just to name a few. This has brought so much death, pain, stress, anxiety, and suffering. Meanwhile, our society is undergoing a period of acknowledging and taking accountability for long-standing systemic inequity, underscored by a public health crisis and a growing social justice movement. It is all of these things and more that have brought well-being to the very forefront of our national and global conversations.

I submit to you that we must embrace a strong focus on empathy for the well-being of our fellow humans.

What Is Empathy, Exactly?

It is time for us to elevate the importance of empathy in our technological world and champion quality of life for all people. Yet, before can get there, we must start by understanding the act of empathy and why it matters.

The Center for Creative Leadership uses "empathy" to describe a wide range of experiences. Researchers generally define empathy as the ability to sense other people's emotions, coupled with the ability to imagine what someone else might think or feel. Empathetic workplaces have been shown to produce massive strides in human capital indicators like innovation, engagement, retention, inclusivity, and work-life balance (Catalyst, 2020). Not only does empathy allow for huge progress in our workplaces, but it also creates similarly profound impacts in our personal, family, and community lives. It is through the acts of perspective taking and emotion sharing that we are able to extend compassion to the other side of the street and the other side of the globe.

Empathetic Leadership

Leadership is a field ripe for empathy. Whether you are a formal leader with an appointed position or you are a natural leader with a heart for change, we are all capable of changing the landscape of the places we lead with empathy. Some people naturally exude empathy, others need to explicitly learn skills that translate into empathetic behaviors. If you’re like most of us, you probably find yourself somewhere in the middle. The good news? Empathy is learnable. As a leader, a team member, and a human, it is crucial that we grow our empathetic skills so that we are able to make the most of our human connections. More likely than not, this will take dedicated practice, which is never easy but always rewarding. As Daniel Lubetzky the founder of KIND said, “If you're asking how to create a more empathetic workplace, you're already way ahead of everybody else.”

Skills to Grow Your Empathy

To best demonstrate empathy, we need to genuinely care about and for each other. If you’re interested in growing your empathetic skillset, I recommend that you develop a curiosity about the fellow humans you meet. Don’t stay at the surface, dive down into the particulars of what interests them, what scares them, what enlivens them, and what brings them hope. Spend time with the people you know the least and ask them about themselves. What is their life like? What important values root their experience? What about their background has molded them into who they are?

Intentionally connecting with people from a variety of backgrounds - religious, ethnic, and political – will help you increase your exposure to opportunities for empathy. It won’t always be easy. In fact, oftentimes it will likely be really hard. But stay grounded in your curiosity and be present in the moment when you speak with them. Practice makes progress, and all progress towards a more empathetic future is good progress.

Take time to examine your biases. We all have biases and, frankly, they impact our capacity for empathy. Often without knowing, we judge others on the way they look and how they live. Find opportunities to learn from people with backgrounds that are different than yours. Look for the similarities that you share and honor the differences. Celebrating our beautiful diversity through empathy is one of the things that makes us truly human.

A word of caution to those who are White when seeking to empathetically connect with those who are Black, Indigenous, and People of Color. Be mindful and sensitive with your curiosity. Be aware of your impact in how you approach someone or invite sharing. Follow their lead and realize it may take time to build trust. While you may have the best of intentions, the other person may not want to share for a multitude of reasons. Respect that and center their needs.

Making Your Path to Empathy Personal

So, I urge you, find time to seek different perspectives, imagine a mile in someone else’s shoes, and connect with care. Even if it’s uncomfortable, you’ll be cultivating your capacity for empathy. These skills will not only improve your leadership interactions but also impact the well-being of you and others in the process.