What Do a Sergeant, a Step-dad, And a Supervisor Have in Common?

Question: Where and when do you lead with love?

Answer: Everywhere and all the time.

Here are three stories demonstrating this.

Loving Leadership from a Vet to a Vet

On a recent visit to my parents, we all spent a leisurely day boating, swimming and visiting at the home of their dear friends, Don and Cindy. Over dinner with Cindy’s prompting, Don and I compared notes on practices to counteract traumatic stress, fear, and burnout.

Don, a Marine Corps Veteran in his mid-60s, had recently embarked on a courageous journey of healing from the PTSD he’s carried for decades. His VA therapist is introducing him to simple but effective evidence-based techniques to counteract the tsunami of emotions that arise out of nowhere. He is finding relief and a new freedom to talk about his experiences and this process.

So, this week, when I received a message from a family member expressing urgent concern for the well-being of her husband, a Marine Corps Veteran, I knew who to contact.

Don responded within minutes to my text and immediately reached out to this brother Marine who suffers from PTSD and had not yet agreed to services to process his trauma. But with Don’s encouragement, he’s had his first appointment. It may have helped that Don, a Sergeant, pulled rank on him, a Lance Corporal. Don is in daily contact with the younger vet who’s healing has begun.

Loving Leadership from a Step-Dad

Back at home, in our newly expanded, multi-generational household I shared about last week, we are busy learning the complexities of the family’s schedule and co-creating some new routines. Four adults can certainly shoulder burdens more easily than two can on their own.

Each day offers opportunities to notice and encourage new habits for physical, emotional, and financial well-being. Gratefully, they want to make such shifts. Often they welcome the coaching; other times life is a lot and we let things go. 

I’ve watch with gratitude as Jim discerns all this. I've noticed as he gently offers just what’s needed at just the right moment, with good cheer and without demands, be it a kind word of encouragement, a distraction for the 4 year old, an idea for work, a story about learning to drive for the 15 year old, or an invitation to try something new to the 9 year old. Watching him is really a masterclass in Loving Leadership.

Laughing, I asked him, “Who would've thought we'd be parenting together?!” Afterall, we are in our late 50’s and early 60’s and only married two years! But here we are, collaborating in this unexpected way and learning about each other and love in the process.

Loving Leadership for a New Team Member

Recently Hayley's story came to mind as another example of practical, life-changing Loving Leadership. 

Hayley went to work as an administrative assistant for Dean, busy leading a team of 80. She was excited about her new role, until she learned she would need to drive 30 miles up the interstate for training every day for a week. Dean noticed she was distraught and asked what was up.

Hayley admitted she didn’t know how to merge onto the highway. She’d learned to drive in Hawaii at low speeds, and later only drove in rural areas and around town, even taking a 15-minute detour to avoid merging during her commute.

Dean didn’t laugh. Instead, he offered to ride with Hayley and coach her through merging on the drive, which he needed to make anyway. The moment he offered, her anxiety eased, headaches stopped, and she felt immediate relief.

Today, Hayley laughs about the experience, but it left a lasting impact. She felt deeply seen by Dean, who chose to support her as a whole person, not just an employee. Inspired by his example, Hayley now leads with the same care, creating trust so others feel safe to share. 

Dean’s simple act of kindness built a strong, trusting relationship that allowed for honest dialogue and meaningful collaboration. Hayley became a valued thought partner, and together they led projects that benefited members of their organization and customers. She drove the interstate that week—and years later, she’s still confidently driving and merging.

What do these three stories have in common?

They each represent facets of Loving Leadership with their…

• Supporting, modeling, and walking alongside.

• Coaching, guiding, and mentoring.

• Teaching, encouraging, and challenging.

They each point to meaningful opportunities to make a difference in people's lives everywhere all around us, at home, among friends, in our community, and at work too. 

Afterall, we are in each other’s lives in any given moment for a reason. 

Be on the lookout, and you will discover numerous ways you can be make a difference someone needs at just the right time. it  may be small and seem insignificant to you. A call, an introduction, a conversation. Or it may involve an investment of time, or resources, or knowledge. 

What serendipitous opportunities for love have come your way recently? Were you the conduit or the recipient? Where have you seen such love in action? Have you said something to them? 

Love is ready to be everywhere we will bring it, everywhere we will be it.